EDUC 6165 - week 5

I have to face conflict very often because of my responsibilities at the nursery as director. Sometimes the conflicts are very intense and frustrating, and other times they are a reminder to improve communication and clarifications.

Most of the conflicts are sensitive to share on my blog, but I will share with you a common scenario. I usually have one staff member a year who is insensitive to the fact that taking time off outside the calendar holidays can be very stressful to the nursery. We follow a school calendar and so staff have very frequent breaks and a long summer off; all of which is paid leave. When a staff member asks for time off while the nursery is open, it burdens the nursery with staffing concerns and continuity in the classrooms.

I have such a conflict this year with one of our teachers, who has already taken lots of time off. We have had to organize a substitute teacher to cover her class on several occasions, and all for non-urgent matters. When she requested more time off to travel with her family in May, it became a conflict between us.

I most certainly knew that I would remain respectful while disputing her request, which remains an unresolved dispute. Although my instinct is to become non-responsive, because of the repeated requests, I probably need to remain responsive while debating the need for more leave. The reciprocity is what I find missing from her side, so that she needs to reciprocate our efforts of being flexible and accommodating, by being considerate herself.

Of course we will not reach a violent communication, but the concepts of NVC are applicable here: empathetically listening and honestly expressing. I can see now that if I adopt these two concepts, then I am likely to resolve the dispute effectively. The observation of her repeated requests is obvious to me, and the feeling of being frustrated with it is evident from my part and from the part of the parents and colleagues at the nursery. The needs of the nursery and her needs, must come to a balance in order to continue working together, and I think I will request a commitment to the job as soon as possible in order to continue working together.

This conversation was going to happen in order to reach a solution, but it is interesting to see it in this breakdown of steps.

EDUC 6165 - week 4

I chose my husband and my long term colleague to evaluate my communication skills and much to my surprise is that they evaluated me almost exactly like I evaluated myself. The slight difference that we found was that I saw myself as having mild communication anxiety whereas they both saw me as having low communication anxiety. My explanation is that I probably hide my mild anxiety quite well.

In this week's reading I learnt the differences between self-concept, self-esteem and self-efficacy and I found it interesting, and very accurate that we avoid situations where we know our self-efficacy is low (O'Hair & Weimann, 2012). Although I speak Arabic quite fluently, when I need to speak it in a professional setting, I struggle and so I try to avoid it as much as possible.

I also enjoyed learning the concept of self-monitoring. Since I live in a tremendously diverse city, I have to agree with the statement: "communicating successfully involves finding the appropriate level of self-monitoring for the situation and the people involved" (O'Hair & Weimann, 2012, P.56).

References:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's

EDUC 6165 - week 3

From the minute I start my day, I communicate with people of varying cultures and I most certainly adjust my communication style accordingly. I will use my interactions at work as examples, but the diversity continues after work in the hugely culturally diverse city that I live in.

Although we all speak English at home, my husband and I speak Arabic as well. When we do speak Arabic to each other our tone of voice, as well as volume and expressions change dramatically.

The gardener for the nursery is one of the first people I see early in the morning. He is from Pakistan and his English is very limited, but he understands some Arabic due to his religion. I greet him in his religion's greeting method, which is in the Arabic language and then if we need to exchange information about the landscaping, I use a repertoire (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012) of words that he understands which include English, Arabic and some Urdu. There is a lot of hand gestures and pointing, to make sure I am understood.

The support staff at the nursery is all from the Philippines and although they all speak English, they would not understand me fully if I spoke as I would to a native English speaker. So from the greeting to any instruction or questions I have for them, I slow down, break up my sentences, use simple words and repeat a lot in order to make sure that I am understood. In addition, I ask them to repeat or I prompt them to see if they truly understood. I write a lot out on paper that they can read and reread to re-enforce the spoken message.

The teachers at our nursery come from ten different countries but all speak English very fluently. Although they understand my English perfectly, I always support with written minutes of meetings, email reminders, notes in drawers and so on. If I am having casual conversation with the teachers, I definitely cater the topic or choice of expressions according to the teacher's culture. It makes the conversation more relevant and understood. For example, the humor with our American nurse might not be understood by the British teachers, and so on.

The parents at the nursery are from about 35 different nationalities and I most certainly pick my sentences according to the parent. Not only do I use more high language (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012) because they are customers, but the method of greeting, choice in words, and the speed of conversation can differ tremendously. This is not to mention the use of English and/or Arabic according to the family.

The driver of the bus that the support staff uses is from India and although he can get his message across fairly well in English; he does not always understand my English. Once again, I have to slow down, repeat, gesture, ask and rephrase to make sure I am understood.

In summary, having to communicate with numerous cultures all day everyday has taught me to never assume that the message was received entirely as I intended it. Use of repetition, rephrasing, gestures, questions and sometimes translation are necessary to ensure effective communication.

EDUC 6165 week 2

The interpretation of the first fifteen minutes of House of Cards, season 1, episode 10, with and without sound are quite different.

With the sound off I saw serious looks on all three characters of the first scene. All were in suites and the two men were in ties. I assumed it was about politics. The lady left the room seemingly upset. Next scene we see that it is in the white house. Serious faces and the main character, Kevin Spacey seems to have authority. Scene with reporters tells us there is serious news to announce. Short scene with a young lady and Kevin Spacey seems intense, maybe it is about the news.

Next scene is with a lady behind her desk who seems to be yelled at by Kevin Spacey. It is a confrontation but she seems to be of authority and he is challenging her decisions. They stand up and argue, just when it seems to be resolving because they both sit down, she gestures for him to leave her office.

The facial expressions and feel of the show is tense and serious. Kevin spacey gets a call in the car which looks serious. He seems to be defying the lady in previous scene.

Next scene seems like a mother daughter scene. Mother seems to be searching or inspecting her daughter's room, disapproval is obvious, condescending body language. It is evening, maybe after work. The same young lady is in the next scene with Kevin Spacey, she seems unhappy still. I cannot tell if he is a friend, family, or boyfriend.

With the sound on, I find out that yes it is political and it is set in the White house. Kevin Spacey who seemed to upset the lady in the first scene was actually defending her. I did not realize that Kevin Spacey spoke to the audience/us. The conversation between the young lady and Kevin Spacey was personal in nature, where as I had thought it was related to politics. She threatens him. The scenes are intense, as I saw without the sound.

Kevin spacey and 'Claire' do have an argument in her office; he confronts her with an issue which is personal. He turns out to be her husband and it is revealed that he had an affair with the younger lady. She does ask him to leave, which was obvious by her body language without volume.

The phone call is intense with threats go back and forth. It was not a mother daughter scene, but the wife and lover of Kevin Spacey, with intimidation and an intense mood. The scene with the young lady and Kevin spacey is lovers and the last scene I saw was him speaking to us, and not thinking to himself.

Although I recognized the White House setting and the intensity of the scenes, I had interpreted the relationships wrongly. I could see that there were confrontations but I did not realize they were personal in nature and that the characters were husband and wife, or man and lover.

Had I known the show and the relationships, I would have definitely interpreted the scenes differently.

I found this assignment very interesting, and such an example of how easily we can misinterpret communications. When we are observing mannerisms, it is easy to make assumptions about people; and similarly, our mannerisms can communicate a lot to others.

EDUC 6165 - week 1

When I read this assignment, I knew exactly who I would write about and that is my good friend and X-boss LC. I worked under LC's leadership for two years, and I was memorized from the first interview because of her communication skills and her style of leadership.

LC was always calm in her communications, always relevant to the subject, not too brief but not too lengthy, and with utmost authority. In staff meetings, I remember that she directed us very clearly so that we each knew what was expected, she always summarized and concluded so that we all left with the same goals in mind.

I have also seen her asserting her authority when it was needed, and she was strong, effective but remained respectful and professional.

LC can also be very compassionate and a great listener to her staff and to her friends. Knowing her now for 15 years, I can tell you that I still enjoy her style of communicating, leading and showing empathy or support at the right time and in the right way.

By text, email, phone or in person, it is always comfortable and predictable while being with LC.

I had adopted her style many years ago, when I was setting up the nursery and leading the team that we created, as well as meeting parents and children. I always imagine her in my position, and wonder how she would handle and communicate accordingly. I find that people around LC always knew what she felt, what she expected, and what she set as a goal, along with being compassionate, supportive and encouraging when needed. There are never loose ends due to miscommunication and there is little room for unnecessary gossip or rumors.

I hope to continue learning how to communicate and lead as effectively as LC.

EDUC 6164 - week 8

When I think of working with children who come from diverse backgrounds, my hope is that they always feel welcome and safe under our care. I hope that they are able to flourish with confidence, discover each other, learn to embrace the differences amongst them and spread the value of diversity.

A goal for the early childhood field would be to study the various ways children see differences, and to research the methods that make diversity more natural and acceptable to very young children. I think that teaching the teachers has a huge impact on what translates to the children, but we also need to figure out what is in their minds and how they see the world. It may be that we have lots to learn from them.

I am very grateful for the colleagues in this course, and all the comments, discussions and valuable lessons we have taught each other. We are a diverse group, working together in great harmony, with the same goals and aspirations. I wish you luck and many wonderful experiences to come. Thank you Dr. Parrish for leading us in this important subject, and for your creative teaching methods.

“It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.”
— Maya Angelou

EDUC 6164 - week 7

Chad in Africa

The new family in my class would be from Chad, which is a landlocked country in central Africa. In Chad the two most common languages are French and Arabic, although there are over 100 other languages or dialects spoken. In preparation for my new student, it would be good to know how to greet him/her in French and Arabic, and then ask the parents to teach me a few key words in their spoken language. Those would include words like: toilet, water, hungry, thirsty, mom is coming, I am hurt, and so on.

The most prevalent religion is Islam, then Christianity and then animism and other religions. So in preparation for meeting the family, I need to be aware of some of the religious beliefs accordingly. If they are Muslim: do they eat pork, does the father shake hands with a female, etc.

I found out that girls are still married at a very young age and so the average age for mothers is 18 years old. Literacy rates are quite low, particularly for females and usually the man marries more than one wife and lives with the extended family. This is quite important because I need to anticipate a young mother, who could be illiterate and possibly living with extended family. Communication with the family will be very different from the typical America family, and we cannot rely on written communication alone or that the information reaches the mother each time.

On child raising practices, I found very little but this gives me some idea of what to expect: "The rearing of young children is done by the mother and by relatives; at a later stage there is more involvement by the father. Of greatest importance for all Chadians is the socializing role of the family and the ethnocultural group later in life through, for example, initiation, the taking on of religious and ritual duties, mutual help, and social support. Children necessarily remain dependent on their families until their early twenties.

About 60 percent of Chadian children attend primary school, but the literacy rate in Chad is estimated at only 20 percent, a comparatively low rate within Africa. Further formal education is pursued by a minority, and most children are educated by their families, taking on domestic and economic tasks in their early teens…" (everyculture, 2015)

I also found out that there is a huge variety in their food and clothing, so it would be difficult to anticipate the child's needs in that regards.

In preparation for my student, I would have the flag of Chad up on our international wall of facts. I would learn a few words in French and Arabic, and anticipate some of the religious practices. The basics have to be established when the family arrives, such as the child's name and how to pronounce it correctly. As well as how the parents like to be addressed.

In addition, I would prepare an interview list of questions like whom to contact for concerns, preferred means of communication, eating habits, sleeping habits, family members in the household in USA, family members in their household in Chad. To go further in helping the family in their new community, I would ask them if they knew any other Chadians or if they needed to make contacts. I would ask them if they have established a pediatrician and guide them accordingly.

After the interview, I would take the family for a tour of our facility and explain how we run our program, and what our policies are. During such a tour, many questions arise such as previous child care, eating habits (floor, table, fed, independent) and much more.

By observing the family and prompting them, we can find out if their culture praises or encourages children through hugs, high fives, kind words or any other gestures that can be used in our setting.

A family that feels that the school recognizes their differences and prepares and embraces them, are going to feel more welcomed and less intimidated. A teacher who is prepared for a family's differences, will also feel less intimidated when approaching them, and better equipped to care for their child.

Opening up communication through an introductory interview and tour of the setting, will prepare for the differences to be discussed and addressed.

http://www.our-africa.org/chad/people-culture

http://www.everyculture.com/Bo-Co/Chad.html

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/cd.html