EDUC 6165 - week 4

I chose my husband and my long term colleague to evaluate my communication skills and much to my surprise is that they evaluated me almost exactly like I evaluated myself. The slight difference that we found was that I saw myself as having mild communication anxiety whereas they both saw me as having low communication anxiety. My explanation is that I probably hide my mild anxiety quite well.

In this week's reading I learnt the differences between self-concept, self-esteem and self-efficacy and I found it interesting, and very accurate that we avoid situations where we know our self-efficacy is low (O'Hair & Weimann, 2012). Although I speak Arabic quite fluently, when I need to speak it in a professional setting, I struggle and so I try to avoid it as much as possible.

I also enjoyed learning the concept of self-monitoring. Since I live in a tremendously diverse city, I have to agree with the statement: "communicating successfully involves finding the appropriate level of self-monitoring for the situation and the people involved" (O'Hair & Weimann, 2012, P.56).

References:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's

EDUC 6165 - week 3

From the minute I start my day, I communicate with people of varying cultures and I most certainly adjust my communication style accordingly. I will use my interactions at work as examples, but the diversity continues after work in the hugely culturally diverse city that I live in.

Although we all speak English at home, my husband and I speak Arabic as well. When we do speak Arabic to each other our tone of voice, as well as volume and expressions change dramatically.

The gardener for the nursery is one of the first people I see early in the morning. He is from Pakistan and his English is very limited, but he understands some Arabic due to his religion. I greet him in his religion's greeting method, which is in the Arabic language and then if we need to exchange information about the landscaping, I use a repertoire (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012) of words that he understands which include English, Arabic and some Urdu. There is a lot of hand gestures and pointing, to make sure I am understood.

The support staff at the nursery is all from the Philippines and although they all speak English, they would not understand me fully if I spoke as I would to a native English speaker. So from the greeting to any instruction or questions I have for them, I slow down, break up my sentences, use simple words and repeat a lot in order to make sure that I am understood. In addition, I ask them to repeat or I prompt them to see if they truly understood. I write a lot out on paper that they can read and reread to re-enforce the spoken message.

The teachers at our nursery come from ten different countries but all speak English very fluently. Although they understand my English perfectly, I always support with written minutes of meetings, email reminders, notes in drawers and so on. If I am having casual conversation with the teachers, I definitely cater the topic or choice of expressions according to the teacher's culture. It makes the conversation more relevant and understood. For example, the humor with our American nurse might not be understood by the British teachers, and so on.

The parents at the nursery are from about 35 different nationalities and I most certainly pick my sentences according to the parent. Not only do I use more high language (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012) because they are customers, but the method of greeting, choice in words, and the speed of conversation can differ tremendously. This is not to mention the use of English and/or Arabic according to the family.

The driver of the bus that the support staff uses is from India and although he can get his message across fairly well in English; he does not always understand my English. Once again, I have to slow down, repeat, gesture, ask and rephrase to make sure I am understood.

In summary, having to communicate with numerous cultures all day everyday has taught me to never assume that the message was received entirely as I intended it. Use of repetition, rephrasing, gestures, questions and sometimes translation are necessary to ensure effective communication.

EDUC 6165 week 2

The interpretation of the first fifteen minutes of House of Cards, season 1, episode 10, with and without sound are quite different.

With the sound off I saw serious looks on all three characters of the first scene. All were in suites and the two men were in ties. I assumed it was about politics. The lady left the room seemingly upset. Next scene we see that it is in the white house. Serious faces and the main character, Kevin Spacey seems to have authority. Scene with reporters tells us there is serious news to announce. Short scene with a young lady and Kevin Spacey seems intense, maybe it is about the news.

Next scene is with a lady behind her desk who seems to be yelled at by Kevin Spacey. It is a confrontation but she seems to be of authority and he is challenging her decisions. They stand up and argue, just when it seems to be resolving because they both sit down, she gestures for him to leave her office.

The facial expressions and feel of the show is tense and serious. Kevin spacey gets a call in the car which looks serious. He seems to be defying the lady in previous scene.

Next scene seems like a mother daughter scene. Mother seems to be searching or inspecting her daughter's room, disapproval is obvious, condescending body language. It is evening, maybe after work. The same young lady is in the next scene with Kevin Spacey, she seems unhappy still. I cannot tell if he is a friend, family, or boyfriend.

With the sound on, I find out that yes it is political and it is set in the White house. Kevin Spacey who seemed to upset the lady in the first scene was actually defending her. I did not realize that Kevin Spacey spoke to the audience/us. The conversation between the young lady and Kevin Spacey was personal in nature, where as I had thought it was related to politics. She threatens him. The scenes are intense, as I saw without the sound.

Kevin spacey and 'Claire' do have an argument in her office; he confronts her with an issue which is personal. He turns out to be her husband and it is revealed that he had an affair with the younger lady. She does ask him to leave, which was obvious by her body language without volume.

The phone call is intense with threats go back and forth. It was not a mother daughter scene, but the wife and lover of Kevin Spacey, with intimidation and an intense mood. The scene with the young lady and Kevin spacey is lovers and the last scene I saw was him speaking to us, and not thinking to himself.

Although I recognized the White House setting and the intensity of the scenes, I had interpreted the relationships wrongly. I could see that there were confrontations but I did not realize they were personal in nature and that the characters were husband and wife, or man and lover.

Had I known the show and the relationships, I would have definitely interpreted the scenes differently.

I found this assignment very interesting, and such an example of how easily we can misinterpret communications. When we are observing mannerisms, it is easy to make assumptions about people; and similarly, our mannerisms can communicate a lot to others.

EDUC 6165 - week 1

When I read this assignment, I knew exactly who I would write about and that is my good friend and X-boss LC. I worked under LC's leadership for two years, and I was memorized from the first interview because of her communication skills and her style of leadership.

LC was always calm in her communications, always relevant to the subject, not too brief but not too lengthy, and with utmost authority. In staff meetings, I remember that she directed us very clearly so that we each knew what was expected, she always summarized and concluded so that we all left with the same goals in mind.

I have also seen her asserting her authority when it was needed, and she was strong, effective but remained respectful and professional.

LC can also be very compassionate and a great listener to her staff and to her friends. Knowing her now for 15 years, I can tell you that I still enjoy her style of communicating, leading and showing empathy or support at the right time and in the right way.

By text, email, phone or in person, it is always comfortable and predictable while being with LC.

I had adopted her style many years ago, when I was setting up the nursery and leading the team that we created, as well as meeting parents and children. I always imagine her in my position, and wonder how she would handle and communicate accordingly. I find that people around LC always knew what she felt, what she expected, and what she set as a goal, along with being compassionate, supportive and encouraging when needed. There are never loose ends due to miscommunication and there is little room for unnecessary gossip or rumors.

I hope to continue learning how to communicate and lead as effectively as LC.