I have to face
conflict very often because of my responsibilities at the nursery as director. Sometimes
the conflicts are very intense and frustrating, and other times they are a
reminder to improve communication and clarifications.
Most of the
conflicts are sensitive to share on my blog, but I will share with you a common
scenario. I usually have one staff member a year who is insensitive to the fact
that taking time off outside the calendar holidays can be very stressful to the
nursery. We follow a school calendar and so staff have very frequent breaks and
a long summer off; all of which is paid leave. When a staff member asks for
time off while the nursery is open, it burdens the nursery with staffing
concerns and continuity in the classrooms.
I have such a
conflict this year with one of our teachers, who has already taken lots of time
off. We have had to organize a substitute teacher to cover her class on several
occasions, and all for non-urgent matters. When she requested more time off to
travel with her family in May, it became a conflict between us.
I most
certainly knew that I would remain respectful while disputing her
request, which remains an unresolved dispute. Although my instinct is to become
non-responsive, because of the repeated requests, I probably need to remain responsive
while debating the need for more leave. The reciprocity is what I find
missing from her side, so that she needs to reciprocate our efforts of being
flexible and accommodating, by being considerate herself.
Of course we
will not reach a violent communication, but the concepts of NVC are applicable
here: empathetically listening and honestly expressing. I can see now that if I
adopt these two concepts, then I am likely to resolve the dispute effectively.
The observation of her repeated requests is obvious to me, and the feeling
of being frustrated with it is evident from my part and from the part of the
parents and colleagues at the nursery. The needs of the nursery and her needs,
must come to a balance in order to continue working together, and I think I
will request a commitment to the job as soon as possible in order to
continue working together.
This conversation
was going to happen in order to reach a solution, but it is interesting to see
it in this breakdown of steps.
Hi Zeina, I liked your comment about remembering to improve communication and clarification. Sometimes it's hard for us to see or admit we need to modify our actions but is essential especially in this field. I also feel your frustration and the teacher's perspective in this situation. Although I never abused time off in the workplace I know what it feels like to need or strongly want time off for family reasons. I also know what it feels like to be on the other side as a supervisor and have to find coverage for the other person. It is definitely a difficult scenario and I wish you luck and hope for a conflict resolution that works for both of you!
ReplyDeleteI understand your frustrations with time off. I do however try to respect my staff need to want to be with their families and take unexpected time off with their sick children. I am fortunate that the program I oversee now there is not a needs for subs since we are a home-based program. I know how frustrating and upsetting it can be to children and families to have a substitute in the classroom. Its great that you do have a sub pool. Many times as a director it was my advocate and I that would have to fill in classroom.
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